Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress who used to get paid a half-million dollars to show up at parties, is updating her résumé from socialite to chef.
This week, America’s original reality star launched her YouTube cooking show, “Cooking With Paris.” For the premiere of her new web series, Hilton made one of her “infamous” dishes, “sliving” lasagna. Sliving, of course, is an amalgamation of “slaying” and “living” — a catchphrase coined by Hilton herself last year, according to E! News.
“As you all know … well, maybe not all of you know,” says Hilton, 38, in a deluxe island kitchen with her teacup Chihuahua, Diamond Baby, in hand. “People who do know know that I am an amazing cook.”
Establishing her culinary prowess, Hilton begins the 16-minute tutorial by reminiscing on childhood memories of Momma Hilton’s “pastas and lasagnas” and holiday dinners before finally putting Diamond Baby down and jumping into the recipe. (We can only hope her director cut to allow for hand-washing.)
From there, she leaps headlong into making lasagna without a recipe or prepared ingredients, beginning, as anyone would, by boiling — or “steaming,” as she says — the lasagna noodles. Frustrated by this extra step, she recommends viewers buy the pasta “you don’t need to steam.”
From the refrigerator, she grabs the rest of the ingredients — approximately 4 pounds of ground beef, 6 pounds of ricotta cheese and some 1 ½ pounds of mozzarella. (Note: Her personal assistant apparently bought well over the amount ingredients required for the dish.)
“I would recommend getting shredded mozzarella, because now I have to grate the cheese,” says Hilton with reserved exasperation.
“This is my first time cooking here so I have no idea if I even have [a cheese grater],” she explains with a heavy sight, gazing as the unshredded wheels of mozzarella. “I’m making this a lot more work than it is.”
While this sort of home video is far more wholesome than her most famous one — the 2004 sex tape “1 Night in Paris” — it’s arguably just as messy.
And don’t think that means she’s dressed any more appropriately.
“That’s why I wear my chef gloves,” she says, showing off a pair of black driving gloves, which were most certainly not made for the kitchen.
She clarifies, “They’re made for sliving, but now that it’s 2020, you’re still gonna see sliving, but sliving it in a different way — like cooking lasagna.”
Then, a pause for a photo: “I’m just letting you guys all know on Twitter right now.”
For the next seven or so minutes, Hilton rummages through the kitchen for proper tools (of which she does not know names), handles raw ground beef with her cloth gloves and bare fingers, and nearly sets her waist-length hair aflame while standing over the stove.
While seasoning the searing ground beef, she realizes she may have over-salted and reveals her own idiosyncratic kitchen hack: soaking a paper towel with bottled water — “Who know’s what’s in these sewers?” — then dabbing the top of the beef mound to sop up the excess salt. One now has to wonder if she bathes in Evian.
At one point, she stumbles across a humble onion and head of garlic.
“I was supposed to chop these onions and garlic, but I feel that my lasagna should not have onions or garlic in it,” she says with a shrug.
Then, she finally begins assembling the lasagna.
“I don’t know what this is but I think it’s going to work,” she says with confidence, then places the covered casserole dish in the oven.
She pauses again and sprays her own brand’s Unicorn Mist over her face: “Lasagna’s, like, really hard to make.”
In the end, the lasagna, overflowing with bubbling mozzarella, looks downright edible and, indeed, “hot.” And while she may not be the most skilled cook, the former party girl deserves a nod for her consummate resourcefulness — in the kitchen and her career.
“I’m gonna be cooking more, so let me know what I should be cooking next, and hashtag it #cookingwithparis,” she says. “Make sure to like and subscribe and I’ll see you next Monday.”
While #ChefParis didn’t provide exact ingredients or instructions, The Post parsed the video and attempted a clearer recipe.
“Sliving” Lasagna
- Lasagna noodles
- Mozzarella, 4 or 5 cups, shredded
- Garlic cloves and onions (optional)
- Ricotta cheese, about 4 pounds
- 1 egg
- Olive oil
- Ground beef, about 4 pounds, or whatever
- Pepper
- Himalayan salt
- Tomato sauce, 32-ounce jar, maybe
- Heat oven to 375 degrees.
- “Steam” noodles. You’ll need 12 intact lasagna noodles or so: “If they rip it ruins the whole thing.”
- Shred mozzarella — “So brutal” — if you have to.
- Skip chopping garlic and onion.
- Mix ricotta with single egg.
- Heat oil in brazier on medium-high and place meat in pan, then sprinkle with exactly 11 twists of the pepper grinder and a few shakes of Himalayan salt. Brown meat until just before fully cooked, then drain fat.
- Step away from prep area and break for face misting.
- Add sauce and mix with beef, then simmer.
- Drain noodles.
- Lay a thick layer of sauce mixture at the bottom of a deep baking pan, then lay lasagna noodles in a single layer, then a thick layer of ricotta mixture. Repeat layers until sauce and ricotta are finished, then top with shredded cheese.
- Wrap with foil and bake for 35-40 minutes, then uncover and cook another 5 minutes.
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January 15, 2020 at 11:59PM
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Paris Hilton now has her own cooking show - New York Post
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